Trouble at church: whose fault is it anyway?

   To have a well functioning church under the best of circumstances is not an easy task and in this day and age of electronic communications and unbelieving public, is harder than ever.  When I began attending my former church there were very few of us but there were already tensions.   I went out of my way to make everyone feel welcomed and after the two warring parties left the church we became a loving church.  The members came early and stayed late because we got along so well.
  Of course there was the occasional oddball that popped in who thought the church should cater to their whims; like the lady who wanted the attendance board placed ion the wall although all 17 members were at ever service.  Then there was a lady who wouldn't come because we took the old broken pews out and replaced them with comfortable chairs.
  But even then, the preacher would say or do something to offend someone.  One lady complained that the church was too cold so the preacher cut the air conditioning off completely and we all suffered as a result.  The worse part was when he announced that he had done so to be accommodating  to one member.  Of course she knew it was her and neither her nor her husband ever came back.
  Then there was the time the four ladies who were best friends started coming and they always seemed to be having a good time.  The preacher started referring to them as the "fun girls" which some of them found offensive.  Instead of doing the proper thing they did the convenient thing and just quit coming.  Maybe if they had talked to the preacher many problems done the road could have been solved.
    In spite of the preacher occasional lapses in judgement the church grew and we moved into a new building.  The pastor had a charismatic personality and people were drawn to him likes moths to a light bulb but he also had an ego as big as Texas and a stubborn streak two miles wide.  A neighbor got upset with the church and her and the pastor disagreed over the incident.  She said she was going to hire someone to fix the problem and was sending the bill to him.  He said he would go to jail before giving her one red penny.  I know he would have.
   I purchased the new building for the church after the preacher said he would sign a document acknowledging the church's debt to me but after I handed over the deed he refused to do so.  One time he became upset and thought he had the right to close the church down and sell off the property.
It is his ego  and not his short sightedness or stubborn streak that keeps the church from really growing.
   One day a man decided to join the church.  He brought along his wife and two grown children, his brother-in-law and his wife and their three children.  From that day forward it was like we had two churches.  The older more faithful members were cast aside in favor of this new group.  One was made the youth pastor and the other a deacon.  As time went on the preachers insensitive remarks offended people and his stubborn streak and ego made him refuse to admit his error.  One family could do no wrong and the rest of us could do no right.
  Many of the things I did around the church were taken away from me and my position as deacon was being disrespected and I began to feel like an outsider.  After about three years I was finally forced out as Sunday School teacher and informed I was no longer a deacon.
   I am not one to go to church and do nothing so I left and reunited with another church. There I am again teaching Sunday School, am the assistant treasurer, the church videographer, and take care of the outside message board.  We have a loving church, are growing, have  meek pastor who welcomes input from the members.
  Meanwhile my former church just had a big split caused by the pastors insensitivity.  His granddaughter and her fiancé just started attending the church.  The couple are living together yet said God called him to preach and the pastor allows him that privilege.  His former   can do no wrong youth pastor has left the church along with a group of other members (not together but about the same time).
    One lady that had been a long time member left also but she has decided not to attend church anywhere.  She made the statement "All churches are the same."  What is sad is her brother got his feeling hurt in church and at her request we visited him numerous times to no avail and now she has the same attitude he does.
    No, not all churches are the same.  All church members are human and all pastors are human and people make mistakes and sometimes people make things, even church, about themselves instead of about God.  I go to church to worship my savior and my God and I look for opportunities to spread the gospel to others.  I don't look at the faults of others.  The only reason I left the other church is because it became about the preacher and not about Jesus and if I talk to someone about Jesus but don't feel comfortable inviting a new Christian to the church I am attending then it is time to change churches.
  Never, ever, have I ever considered not attending church.  No one could ever offend me enough to turn my back on my Lord and savior.  He died for me and I am going to live for him.