Is "Me too" for real?

     I do believe it is in the nature of the human male to be aggressive.  Males are bigger, stronger and faster than females and when it comes to physical activities men will always come out on top.  No, every male cannot defeat every female but overall the females are the weaker sex.  When it comes to other areas of life, emotional stability, intelligence, leadership, etc. the sexes are about even and maybe with the edge in the female corner.  My discussion is not about who is more dominant nor is it about the equality of the sexes.  It is about what makes men men and women not men.

  Being strong and being aggressive is meant to be a good thing. In  times past when wars and life in general took strength and endurance and aggressiveness to make things happen being a man was an advantage.  In todays society those qualities are not as necessary in the technology field and the business world but even so, men are hard wired differently than women.  That is why men have usually been the aggressors in all areas of life, including mate finding.
 
   As children, we all test the boundaries of parental permission.  That is how we establish what is right from what is wrong and what is permissible and what is taboo.  It is often that our parents have had to tell us no.  Sometimes we continue and the parent relents, sometimes the parent says no because they don't want to be bothered and sometimes the same act get different reactions.  We only learn that no means no when the same action always results in a no.

    Rightly or wrongly, the burden of saying no in relationships has always been placed on the female.  In recent decades girls and women have been given more permission to share responsibility and males are expected to take more of the responsibility for showing restraint.    Sometimes a boy or man will engage in an activity and be told no but if he persists the objection is withdrawn.  I see this all the time.  At church a child will be running and the parent calls him/her down and says 'stop running."  The child will watch the parent and as soon as the parent is distracted the child will resume his previous activities.  More often than not, the parent ignores the child.

   If that is the way the child was raised, then  when it comes to relationships, if at first the other person says no, does no really mean no or does it mean give me a minute to adjust to this new idea or does it mean to just slow down a little?  Has the behavior already crossed the lines of committing a crime?  Do we always have to ask permission before touching another person?   If being grouped by a boy in high school sexual assault?  if so, the almost every girl can claim "me Too".

   How many of us at 42 act or think the same as we did at 16?  Often I've heard people talk about the stupid things they did as a teenager.  If someone committed a crime against you then by all means report it.  If it is past the statue of limitations then live with it./   It's not right that things a person did when they were kids should be held against them for the remainder of their lives, especially when proof is no longer available.

   I am not advocating that overly aggressive behavior should be over looked or condoned.  I'm not.  I do believe we should show respect for each other in all stages of our life but sometimes we confuse what is acceptable and what is not when engaging in situations that are totally new to us.    Petty crimes we commit when we are kids are dripped from our criminal records when we turn 18.  No reason to ruin a kids entire life because of an act committed when immature.

    As parents we should do a better job at teaching boundaries and acceptable behavior and as adults we need to be more responsible when reporting crimes.  Report as close to the act as possible.  It doesn't matter if the authorities believe you are not. If every woman reported sexual assaults then when the third woman reports the same man for the same crime, it is more likely that he will be stopped and all vindicated.  Why wait twenty years and then cry rape.  People wonder what's your agenda.

Keeping up with the Jones"

   It has been many years since I've had a neighbor that seemed to care what I did.  When I owned my second home my next door neighbor duplicated everything I did.  That included the planting of trees, digging of a drainage ditch, to building a fence.  They had the nicer house with a deck out back while all I had was a utility closet that wasn't big enough for anything except for a few long handled tools.  When I decided to move my hot water heater out of the laundry room to the utility room so I could have a full size washer/dryer I suppose the neighbors had had enough so they sold their house and moved.
  My neighbor across the street isn't exactly like that but he does keep up with me when it comes to mowing the lawn.  Every time I mow, he will mow later that day.  The only difference is I have a riding mower and he has a walk behind.  Sometimes it takes him two days to mow because it gets too dark for him to see.

   I mowed my grass last Monday.  I had gotten behind in my mowing duties due to my surgery recover period of six weeks and it is more than just tall grass.  Weeds took over the flower gardens and vegetable gardens and it is impossible to get a smooth cut on tall grass because the moisture holds the grass flat so it doesn't cut smoothly or evenly .  I got my okay to resume working in the yard on a Monday so I cut my grass the following Tuesday and the first of the week ever since.  
  I prefer to cut my grass on Thursdays  because I'm used to going to swim class M-W-F and I like my yard to look nice for the weekend.
   The week after my vacation I had cut my grass on Monday and when my neighbor got off work he cut his grass also.  Knowing that I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and my wife had one Tuesday and the weather man was calling for some rain on Wednesday I made the decision to mow again on Saturday so if I didn't get to mow this week it would not look so bad the following week.
Again, my neighbor mowed his grass on Saturday as well.  I wondered if it had dawned on him he had mowed twice in one week?
   I'm not complaining about him mowing on the same days I do except that he mows in the evening when everyone is in for the day and having supper, preparing lessons or reading or even watching TV and the noise is distracting.  Even so I'm glad I have a neighbor that takes care of his yard.

There are no buts

   My former pastor was talking with a preacher of a different denomination.  My pastor believed in assurance of salvation and the other pastor believed one could lose their salvation.  My pastor quoted a scripture that seemed to support his viewpoint and the other preacher quoted the same verse and then said "but"  and then proceeded to expound on why that was fully accurate.
   My pastor informed me of the conversation and I told him there wasn't any "but" in the bible.  He misunderstood me and thought I was saying that the word "but" was never used in scripture.  That was not what I was saying at all.  I really meant that there was no "but"  after that verse in the bible.
  I realize one cannot pick one verse and build a doctrine out of it.  One has to take a verse in context and then interpret it in light of it's usage in the entirety of scripture  But neither can one add your own interpretation to a scripture because you don't want to agree with what it is saying.
  It is hard for some because to accept that salvation is free and one doesn't have to do anything to get it except for accepting it.  Some think that becoming a Christian is a get out of hell free card and that once saved they can live like they want to.  But the bible makes it clear that once you accept  salvation that you have been purchased with a price.  You are no longer a servant of sin but you still have a master.  You have to serve one or the other.  If you say you belong to the Lord and yet still serve Satan, scripture says you are a liar.  You no longer want to live the way you did when you were lost nor will you.
  Those people who believe that you have to follow a set of rules and live a certain way in order to go to heaven have missed the reason for Christ's death on the cross because if you have to live a sin free life then what is the point of the cross?
  No, God said what he meant and he meant what he said and we cannot be adding "buts, if's or maybe's to the end of scripture.

'Vengance in mine"

   "Vengance is Mine" saith the Lord but sometimes getting even is so sweet.  Back in the days when I was a working man (I mean with a paying job)  I usually has a day or two off during the week. My wife worked manufacturing so was employed Monday through Friday.  Even though she worked close to home she preferred to take her lunch to work but one of her friends who also worked at the same place preferred to eat a home cooked meal.  Unfortunately for me it was my home where she preferred to eat.
  She would pop in several times a week while Nana was fixing lunch and help herself.  She did this once when I was home and I ask Nana about it.  Nana was a quiet woman and didn't complain much but she did confess this habit was unsetting because it often left the meals skimpy for herself and the kids.  I decided then I would fix her a meal she would never forget.
   My next day off during the week, I saved some leftovers and added some unsavory ingredients to it.  Nothing would make one sick or be hurtful in any way;  it just tasted awful.  Anyway, the woman stopped by for lunch that day.  She just walked it, grabbed herself a bowl and helped herself.   and never bothered to even tell me hello.  She took a few bites and remarked that I needed to speak to Nana about her cooking as the food was really bad.  "How can she even think about feeding this stuff to the kids?" she remarked.
   "She doesn't intent too." I answered.  "She made that for the dog."
   Needless to say she didn't finish her meal nor did she ever come back for a free lunch.

Going around in circles

  I celebrate each victory no matter how small in my battle to regain control after my prostate cancer surgery.  There has been small steps and there have been some setbacks too.  I am supposed to do these squeezing exercises to strengthen  the muscles that control the bladder release and I had been doing them faithfully until one night they seemed painful.  The next morning I passed a small amount of blood.  I held off on the exercises for a while and have resumed them but not so vigorously.
  Friday was my best day making it to the toilet 5 out of six try's without any leakage but yesterday was a disaster.  I felt like I have regressed back to the day when the bag was first removed.  Every little move, no matter how slight, created a sprinkle.
   Things are starting out a little better this morning ,  I crawled out of bed at 1:30 because I couldn't get comfortable.  Having to crawl in and out of bed every hour and a half is hard on my back and after the second or third time it gets sore and I can't get comfortable.  I usually just get out of bed, play a game or two on the computer, check my face book page,  and read the news until time to fix breakfast, then read some commentary before taking a nap until my wife gets up around seven.
   But this morning I can't have breakfast as I have a doctor's appointment and I have to fast. My appointment isn't until 10:30 and that is almost my lunch time.  I'm okay for now with a glucose reading of 100.
  I'm at that age when one thing gets better another goes wrong and some things will never get better
but I'm not old enough to accept defeat.  I'll keep doing what I can as long as I can.  

Vacation's Over. It's time for church.

   Went to the mountains for the week and the weather was absolutely perfect.  The traffic was heavier than expected due to people fleeing the hurricane.  The locals were courteous drivers and we only saw one aggressive driver; some guy in a white pickup truck that thought he had to be first to where ever he was going.  However, once you got near the college, you were on your own.  The college students were discourteous and aggressive.
  The GPS on my wife's phone didn't like me.  I wanted to head from my motel to the Mast General store.  The shortest and quickest way was to turn right out of the parking lot, go 1/2 block and make a left and  go straight for two miles.  The store would have been on my right. Instead it had me make a left. go two miles and three turns then make another right on Blowing Rock Road and then drive the two miles back to the store.
   The only time the GPS had me turn right out of the parking lot was the one time that turning left would have been quicker.  Once, we were headed to the Moses cone Estate on the Blue Ridge Parkway and the GPS sent me winding through backroads and residential neighborhoods and then into desolate areas where the roads were not even paved.  It got us there however freaky the route and we had a good time, which was what was important anyway.
   Spectacular September is half over with two preachers down and two to go.  The first one was kind of hyper and had the ability to work the congregation into a frenzy.  I'm not a big fan of this style of preaching because so often it consists of a series of well worn phrases that are designed to get one excited and contains little or no real substance but this preacher had a really good message to go with his delivery.  Well done.
The first preacher was young and has been a pastor only 6 years, the second week we saw an older man (56) who has been pastor at the same church for twenty of those years.  His style was more of a teacher and he used a lot of illustrations.  The first preacher came on the 4th and the second was there on the 11th.  They were both good and I can remember what they both preached about.  Most people can't tell anyone what the sermon was about by the time they get home for lunch so they had to have been good messages.
  The third installment is this coming Tuesday night, the 18th.  I have no idea what to expect accept another good message is spite of the delivery style.  But before then, we are having our regular church service this morning.  Will you join us?

Pastor David Mims Sept 11. 2018

Sam's club is hard to deal with.

  We purchased some playground equipment from Sam's club and paid to have it installed.   When the installers finished they took our existing playground equipment with them.  They were contacted and promised to return the merchandise within the week  but didn't.  They said they had been busy but would return it soon. They never did.
   I contacted Sam's Club and informed them of the problem and their response was that there was a miscommunication between myself and the installation crew.  I said there wasn't.  It was made perfectly clear that the kiddie slide and balance beam were to stay.  They said they understood.
Sam's Club then responded that they needed the purchase order number.
   I said no you don't.  My merchandise just needs to be returned.
  Sam's Club then replied that since I failed to respond they considered the problem solved.  I told them they solved nothing.,
  We were given a replacement kiddie slide by someone in Charlotte and I rebuilt the balance beam.
it is just a shame that big companies like Sam's club have no concept of good customer service.  It's just not them.,  Almost all the big companies are that way/  I've had problems with Duke Energy, CPI, AOL, and other extra large and large companies. Often one cannot talk to a real person and if you do get a person they can't solve the problem or don't speak good English.  I think Sam's Clubs problem is that they don't want to discipline their crew and they have no interest in making fair compensation for the items taken because that would cost them their profit margin.
   The small amount of business I could do with them isn't enough to entice them to do the proper thing and they know I cannot influence enough people to hurt their bottom line.
  That's okay.  I can live just fine without Sam's Club.  Big companies come and big companies go.  people go where they get the best deals and everything being equal, people will shop where they get treated better.
  But the situation is our own fault because we are motivated by the almighty dime.   I've seen people waste a dollar of gas looking around to save a penny or two per gallon.  Even if they save 5 cents a gallon they will have wasted more than they saved.  I, for one, would rather shop at Melvin's than Walmart.
  But some of the big stores better watch out.  Amazon is putting a hurting on some of the big box stores and for good reason.  For example I'm in need of a new chain saw chain.  Stopped in Walmart and they had a 10", a 14": and several 16", some with a new bar and some with just the chain but no 18".  Went home, searched Amazon and ordered one cheaper that The chains at Walmart.  I'll get it tomorrow.  I didn't have to get dressed, waste gas, or look around.  The only reason to go to a brick and mortar store is for an idea you need immediately or for one that you know is going to be too expense online.  That's what I was doing there in the first place.  I broke the tip off of  a fishing pole.  Shipping would have cost more than the tips.
  One would think with competition from other retailers and from Amazon that the big box stores would try harder to please their customers but the decision makers have so isolated themselves that the system is not flexible, the employees hands are tied and the owners only care about their lifestyle.  But like Montgomery-Ward, W. T. Grants, Sears and Roebuck, Roses, JC Penny, A & P, and a slew of other companies that have died or are dying, they had better learn to care  Saving a penny is not always worth the price you pay.  .          

First Spectacular September Service a Success

  Our first Tuesday night Spectacular September meeting was a huge success.  Pastor Tyler Gaulden conducted the services.

Good report from the doctor

  Went to see my Urologist Tuesday and received a good report.  My incisions are healing properly and I was released from restricted activity.  During surgery 7nodes were removed for examination and all seven proved to be benign.   That's a really good thing.  I hope to get the results from mu PSA tests in a day or two.

   My next appointment is in 2 1/2 months but the doctor wants me to go to Kernersville for a PSA test a week before seeing him.  After that, all my exams should be in Kernersville.

  Before surgery, I walked every other day and did water aerobics for and hour and a half every other day but since been on restricted physical activity it seems I have grown soft.  Starting today I'm going back to walking and hope to be back to my old self soon.  It will be a while before I can go back to the pool.  I have to regain bladder control, otherwise it would not be fair to everyone else to be constantly leaking into the pool.

  The doctor said it would take me about twice to heal as it takes most people because of the size of my prostate as more nerves were damaged.  He suggested that I do my exercises every hour 10 times instead of the 20 times 4 times a day normally done.

Recovery from Cancer

    I'm able to do more physically but where my incisions were feel like little pin pricks so make me aware I need to reduce the amount of stress I'm used to putting on my body.  Yesterday I built a balance beam for the kids at church.  There was no heavy lifting involved yet I could tell I had maybe overdone it a little bit by how pronounced the incision pricks were.  I can live with being careful about how much strain I put on myself but it is the bladder control problem that is hard to deal with.
   I can sleep for an hour to an hour and a half before I have to go.  The pressure isn't painful like it was before surgery.  In fact the pressure is so light that it isn't really recognizable except the urge to go woke me up.  If I scoot to the bed's edge and swing my legs off the side of the bed while sitting up, I do fine.  But if I roll over then swing one leg at a time off the bed, then I squirt.
  During the day, every time I stand I must go immediately to the bathroom .  If I hesitate or do anything on the way I will squirt and once that starts going to the bathroom becomes a mute point in many cases.
   Monday will be 6 weeks since my surgery and I do go back to see the surgeon so he can access my progress. And as frustrating  as each day seems to be I know I am making progress.  I change undergarments less often and they are getting drier overall.  Most trips to the bathroom are successful.  The trips I have the most problem with are at church.  The bathrooms are to far away so I try and stay seated
  Yes, it is embarrassing and uncomfortable and inconvenient  and necessary to wear black pants it is getting better.