Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered how the mistakes you made as a parent affected your child?  I sometimes think that the bad decisions I made as a parent had a bad influence on my child but then again I look at him today and know he is a fine young man and I am amazed he turned out so well in spite of my inexperience as a parent.  Maybe my mistakes made him stronger. 

I feel bad about the times I was angry without reason to be or the times I did things my child didn't understand or that disappointed him.  In some areas I might have pushed him to hard and maybe in orthers I didn't give him enough support.  Sometimes I may have over reacted and others I didn't action with enough passion. 

It's tough being a parent, especially the first time around.  It's one of the nice things about being a parent the second time.  i never had but the one child and he never had children.  But I was a foster parent and I did raise my niece and two nephews for quite a few years.  Those were different kids, different circumstances, and different decisions.  Of course I made mistakes there too.  I don't think it is possible to be a parent and not make mistakes.  I just worry that the mistakes I made had a permanent negative influence on someones life.  Even if they turned out to be good people, I always wondered could they have been better or happier or better able to cope with their problems had I done a better job.

I don't suppose one will ever know what could have been.  To tell the truth I'm not always sure what is.    

Gay Marriage ban

There really is no such thing as a gay marriage ban.  And the recognition of marriage as a union between a man and a woman is not just a Christian concept.  It seems proponents of gay marriage wants to blame the bible on peoples attitude about not allowing gays to be married but they are placing the blame in the wrong place. 

Marriage between a man and a woman isn't a religious institution and it isn't only something that is done in Christian countries only.  That custom has been the norm in every country for like forever.  It has always been the norm for acceptable human behavior. 

I know that marriage legitimizes a union and makes it socially acceptable.  I also think that changing attitudes are making formally unacceptable things okay.  Not too long in the distant past it was illegal to kill children but many people now are accepting of this.  Not only do they think it is okay but they believe it is their right to do so. 

There are many behaviors that humans engage in that are really stupid.  I believe any behavior that alters ones perception of reality except as a medical necessity is a stupid behavior.  At one time drinking wine was necessary because water wasn't safe to drink.  Whatever benefits are in red wine comes from the grapes, not the alcohol so grape juice will do just fine.  Smoking anything is bad as well as snorting stuff up ones nose or injecting things into ones body (except as noted as a medical necessity).

I find it upsetting that Christianity is looked upon as a religion that restricts peoples freedoms and that Christians are cloeminded and judgmental. If one practices Christianity as a set of rules and moral codes then they have missed the point that Christ taught.  Christianity is all about having a relationship with Christ and if one has been born again in fact and not just in word only then he is truly set free and who is set free is free indeed.  Paul said that as a Christian all things are lawful but not all things are expeidient.  There is not lifestyle that is more free and tolerant than a true Christian lifestyle. 

Crazy weather for sure

Yesterday it rained so I was looking forward to a warmer and dryer day today.  Saturday was georgeous and I was hoping tonigh would be another Saturday.  Nope it wasn't.  A little chilly and high winds but that was expected.  The snow, on the other hand, totally took me by surprise.   

Ah Spring.. what tha....?

Today is the nicest day we have had in a long time.  It didn't rain as originally forcast and it turned out to be a warm and sunny day with a light breeze now and then and not the high winds we have been getting.  I tilled by two garden spots and my wildflower garden spot and made me two more flower garden spots before lunch.  After lunch I rested awhile and then started preparations for my Sunday School lesson tomorrow and then had supper. 

Afterwards I went outside to gather up the rocks that grew in the garden over the winter and to hunt down some dandelions.  I was enjoying the warmth and pleasantness of being outside.  I would have like to added the peace and quiet but alas that wasn't the case.  Someone just had to crank up their music thinking everyone had the same tastes as they did and deserved to hear it.  Truthfully, I doubt that they even remotely concidered anyone else when they turned the volume up so high that it vibrates throughout the neighborhood.  I would just like to enjoy one pretty dau outside. especially a nice cool evening sitting by the pond and feeling the warmth of the night and the cool refreshing breeze while basking in the quietness of mother nature. 

But in four years it hasn't happened yet and I doubt it will this year either.  Last year was the worst with the Mexican poka being played over and over, night after night, week after week, month after month.  The first year it was rap music being blasted from the people across the street, the second year it was music from the Methodist church up the street celebrating while the members enjoyed their picnics and cookouts.  Then the next year it was another neighbor blasting away with their heavy metal applfied quitars, even from their rooftop.

Why can't people just be good neighbors?     

Community Garden

There is around a half acre or more of good gardening space just waiting to be planted.  Well, half can be planted but the other half has lots of vines growing on it and lots of bark and pieces of wood left from trees being cut and left to decay on the land.  The trees have all been removed except for the stumps and a lot of raking and weed pulling remain but the space would be great for a project like a  community garden.

It would be nice if i could interest some 4-H'ers and some other students would would like to do something for the community and maybe a person or two, adults really, who know something about gardening to kind of guide the project.  Of course I have no mechanical equipment like tractors or tillers or anything handy like that to work with but kids can't use that stuff anyway.  Maybe some adult would volunteer to help an afternoon or two to help prepare the soil for planting.  The kids could actually do the planting and take care of the garden and the produce from it could be distributed to the more needful of our citizens. 

Anyone have any ideas or input? 

Does Prayer Work?

Well, yes and no.  That isn't meant to be a gotcha answer but there are some qualifications that have to be met first before God answers prayer.  God isn't a granter of wishes by any means and the "name  it and claim it" stance of many TV preachers isn't what prayer is all about anyway. 

The only prayer God answers from a lost person is the prayer of repentance.  Now there is a difference between repentance and confession and  while confession can be good it isn't good enough.  One must repent of their sins. 

Once a person has been born again God will answer his prayer's if he is praying with a sinless heart.  Even a Christian sins and if a Christian with unconfessed sins prays God does not necessarily listen.  The scriptures teach that we should confess our sins first then pray.  When we pray we must pray believing.  God will grant our needs.  He may even grant our wants but not always.  God answers every prayer from a Christian.  Sometimes He says no, sometimes, yes and sometimes he says "in My time". 
One should not always expect a bed of roses from prayer.  A prayerful Christian is hated by Satan so we must expect some discouragement to be throw our way when we have an effective prayer life. 
Our church came together and agreed to pray everynight at 9:00pm for our church.  The first Sunday after we began our prayer vigil we had the largest attendance without the day being a special service.  But we  had a member to die, everyone in the church has become sick except for two people, another had an outbreak of skin cancer and had to have an operation to remove the cancer. 

The preacher had a vehicle breakdown and i had one to get stuck in the mud.  I do believe if we hold firm and continue in prayer that the roadblocks and discouragement will cease and we will receive many blessings from God.  I have seen much evidence in my own life to support my belief the God and His concern for His people. 

I have found that God will honor His promises to us if we first honor our comitment to Him. 

Sleep evades me

Didn't retire until 11 and at 2:30 I'm awake and not feeling sleepy at all.  I suppose the warmer weather and thinking about the events of Sunday services has my brain in a tizzy.  Later today after taking my wife to get her eye glasses adjusted I'm heading to the church to carry wood to the curb.  I've got that last big pile to get rid of.  Tomorrow I have a VA appointment in Winston Salem, Wednesday I'm helping the preacher work on the outside lightins at the church.  Thursday I'm heading to Hickory to take Mom shopping and attend to her other needs.  Friday or Saturday I'm putting up a fence at the church.

I was hoping to get all the debris and weeds out of the space I worked all winter to clear but I think mother nature is going to beat me on this one so i may have to call in the big guns.  As much as I hate chemical warfare I may not have any choice.  Half of what I worked to clear last year is starting to grow back and it is still too bumpy and rocky with too many sappling stumps left in order to mow.  It seems weed killer is my only altermative.  The winter of 2013-14 will afford me enough time to finally win the weed battle but i'v got to hold them at bay until then. 

I was hoping to have every thing cleared so I could have a huge garden.  I know we have some members that could sure use a break on their groceries and get some fresh vegatables to boot.  I'll still have some for them from my home garden.  The space at the church really needs to be planted in pumpkins the first year.  The large leaves shade the ground retarding the growth of the weeds and vines.  As the ground is now, the ground can't be tilled because the vines will clog the tiller.  I broke the transmission on my attempt to till last year,  It would be nice if I could afford to have the land plowed but I can't.  It seems people don't help each other out much now a days.  That may not be true but it just seems so. 

One of the hardest thing about being a diabetic is the constant hunger.  To be totally honest, it is the feeling of hunger that keeps me from getting back to sleep many nights (tonight included).   Sometimes it is really hard to tell if I really need to eat or if my blood sugar is just too high or too low.  That is why it is so important for a diabetic to eat at the same time everyday and to pick the right kinds of food to eat.  It is also why it is so difficult for a diabetic to lose weight. 

Last year I walked five miles every mornings and ate a strict healthy diet and cluld not drop a single pound.  My diabetes was being controlled by diet and after losing fifty pounds it seemed I hit that plateau and no matter what I did i just wasn't going to lose any more.  I fufilled a dream I'v always had and coached a baseball team and halfway through the season the weight just started falling off me.  I was happy and proud of myself.  The only thing I hated was I just couldn't seem to stay out of the bathroom. 

At my next doctor's visit I found that I had gone from a diabetic who was able to control his disease through diet to a type one diabetic who was nearing death without help.  Unfortunately help came with a weight gain.  I've managed to get off the insulin but it is a mighty struggle trying to rid myself of this extra weight.  If I feed my hunger pains I'm also feeding the disease.  Sometimes life is really hard and scary.  Sometimes it is just uncomfortable.   

Is salmon the only good fish?

It seems no matter what ailment one is seeking to cure through diet, like obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, pain, etc. there is one food that always seems to be mentioned and that is salmon.  I can eat it if I have too but there has to be some other fish out there that has a good taste that is healthy too.  Maybe it isn't as healthy as salmon but milder.  I've read some negative things about salmon too.

When I started working in a grocery store seafood departments were unheard of  but when they were finally accepted it seems the only fish we could sale was catfish, flounder and croakers.  We sold lots of shrimp and crablegs and some perch but not much of anything else.  It took a lot of work to get people to try other fish.  Steak fish like salmon, halibut, mackerel, shark, and tuna were occasional sells but the bread and butter of the seafood department was catfish, croakers, shrimp, and crablegs. 
Now it seems if a seafood department is out of salmon they are out of business.   

Does yard work hasten spring or prolong winter?

I still haven't finished working at the church  with the last of four  piles of wood yet to be carried to the street.  I also have a mini-pile and a couple of logs already cut up to dig out of the weeds plus the weeds to pull and all the debris to rack up.  I could have spent today racking and pulling weeds.  I can't carry the wood off  except on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays because the city picks up on Thursday and if I carry the wood to the street after the city picks up it is there during church and I don't want that. 

Next week I have an appointment in Winston-Salem on Tuesday and have to go to Hickory on Thursday.  I understand we might get some wet weather on Monday and with all the previous ground soaking the yard will still be too wet to drive on so I can't carry the wood to the street next week. 

While it hasn't been too wet to rack or pull weeds, it has been too cold and windy.  I'm recovering  from something the likes of which I've never had before.  It starting with a light sore throat then with  chest congestion and then my sinuses clogged up.  It doesn't take much movement to clog me up completely and breathing is difficult. 

I realize that the changing of the seasons is generally accompanied by high winds but what I don't know is when winter is going to let go and spring take hold.  I'll mow the grass in hot weather because I don't have a choice but I'm not pulling weeds, racking or carrying wood when the temperature goes above 70.  If spring comes quickly then I just may not get finished this year. 

I did order some packets of vegetation killer which I intend to use around the trees since I can't mow in that area yet.  There are too many small stumps, rocks, and bricks thrown about and the ground is too unlevel in sopts.  The unlevel ground is the cause of my koehler mower being damaged beyond repair.  This year I purchased a rider to cut the grass with so I have to take extra good care of it. 

If it gets too warm for me to pull weeds and rack then I'll have to spray vegetation killer on the newly cleared portion as well so I won't be able to plant pumpkins on that portion.  Last year I quit work at the end of February.  I could have been finished by the end of December this year if the city would have picked up the wood from the field but they wouln't so I've had to carry it to the street.  With all the rain and other things I've had to do I haven't been able to work on the field steadly like I did last year. so I've gotten behind. 

To tell the truth, I'm ready for spring and I really don't mind waiting until next year to finish except that next year I just may not feel like doing anything at all.  I'm not sure if I want spring to hurry or for winter to stay around awhile.  But to tell the truth it really doesn't matter all that much to me. 

light-headed

I'm feeling light-headed and dizzy.  My blood sugar is 349.  Not sure what to do. 

Irratating words and phrases

"Who let the dogs out" and "Just sayin"  are two phrases that I find irratating.  The one used most often by the young writers of today, especially in the fashion field is "stunned or stuns"  Tonight on Yahoo one headlines reads "Sandra Bullock Stuns in Red Dress".

Now don't get me wrong.  I love Sandra Bulloock.  Sandra Bullock and Jodie Foster are my two favorite female stars.  I looked at the picture of her in that red dress.  Not because she stuns but because it was Sandra Bullock.  It is a nice dress.  But why are writers choosing words that are so over the top?  Why do they have to use the same over the top word over and over again?       

When is spring supposed to get here?

I'm not so much looking forward to summer if it is going to be hot like 2012 but I am looking forward to the day when I can walk on dirt and not get muddy.  It has been wet for so long in some places it looks as if the ground has melted away like cake frosting in a too warm kitchen.  I've still have a few stacks of wood at the church I need to carry off but it has been so wet I can't pull the truck down to the piles because I would get mirred in the mud.  The mud might be fine for pigs, bakers and wrestlers but it doesn't do much for Ford Rangers and fat old men.

I started the project in the fall of 2011 clearing the back half of the property at the church.  I worked six months last year and now starting the eight month of this year (counting from September of 2012 until the present).  Soon it will be too warm to work there and i need to get the wood carried off and the weeds pulled in time to plant. 

With my wife being injured for the last four months and taking care of her, taking care of my aged mother, and helping to care for my monther-in-law, it has been hard to find time and days dry enough to work.  It sure would have been nice to have some big equipment to work with.  Last year I had a mattock. a rack, a pair of lopers, and a small hand saw.  This year I added a chain saw, which  couldn't afford but purchased anyway. 

I had a funeral to attend today and we are expecting rain or worse the next two days  so yoiu know Thursday and Friday are going to be wet.  I can only stack wood by the curb on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because pickup time is early Thursday morning.  Next week I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I am going to take care of Mom on Thurdsay. 

I had hoped to get the work done before spring but it looks like it will be a close call to get it done before it feels like spring and almost impossible to get it done by calendar spring.  I really do need to get finished so i can get the pumpkins in the ground. 

To what country do we owe allegiance?

A high school student was removed from her class for failure to pledge allegiance to the flag.  I'm sure that will get the blood boiling of many loyal Americans.  In somecals, I've heard, it is against policy to pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States and that makes other americans angry. 
But as an American how would you feel if you sent your child to school and they were removed from class for refusing to pledge allegiance to the flag?  Not the American flag but the Mexican flag. 

No way that would every happen in America.  No American High School would ever require America citizens to pledge allegiance to another country.  Well, I wish I could say that was true but it isn't. 

"A Texas high school student who says she was removed from her Spanish class for refusing to recite the Mexican pledge of allegiance is suing the school district."

At least she is suing.  Personally I'm proud of her.