Saturday, September 29, 2018

Is "Me too" for real?

     I do believe it is in the nature of the human male to be aggressive.  Males are bigger, stronger and faster than females and when it comes to physical activities men will always come out on top.  No, every male cannot defeat every female but overall the females are the weaker sex.  When it comes to other areas of life, emotional stability, intelligence, leadership, etc. the sexes are about even and maybe with the edge in the female corner.  My discussion is not about who is more dominant nor is it about the equality of the sexes.  It is about what makes men men and women not men.

  Being strong and being aggressive is meant to be a good thing. In  times past when wars and life in general took strength and endurance and aggressiveness to make things happen being a man was an advantage.  In todays society those qualities are not as necessary in the technology field and the business world but even so, men are hard wired differently than women.  That is why men have usually been the aggressors in all areas of life, including mate finding.
 
   As children, we all test the boundaries of parental permission.  That is how we establish what is right from what is wrong and what is permissible and what is taboo.  It is often that our parents have had to tell us no.  Sometimes we continue and the parent relents, sometimes the parent says no because they don't want to be bothered and sometimes the same act get different reactions.  We only learn that no means no when the same action always results in a no.

    Rightly or wrongly, the burden of saying no in relationships has always been placed on the female.  In recent decades girls and women have been given more permission to share responsibility and males are expected to take more of the responsibility for showing restraint.    Sometimes a boy or man will engage in an activity and be told no but if he persists the objection is withdrawn.  I see this all the time.  At church a child will be running and the parent calls him/her down and says 'stop running."  The child will watch the parent and as soon as the parent is distracted the child will resume his previous activities.  More often than not, the parent ignores the child.

   If that is the way the child was raised, then  when it comes to relationships, if at first the other person says no, does no really mean no or does it mean give me a minute to adjust to this new idea or does it mean to just slow down a little?  Has the behavior already crossed the lines of committing a crime?  Do we always have to ask permission before touching another person?   If being grouped by a boy in high school sexual assault?  if so, the almost every girl can claim "me Too".

   How many of us at 42 act or think the same as we did at 16?  Often I've heard people talk about the stupid things they did as a teenager.  If someone committed a crime against you then by all means report it.  If it is past the statue of limitations then live with it./   It's not right that things a person did when they were kids should be held against them for the remainder of their lives, especially when proof is no longer available.

   I am not advocating that overly aggressive behavior should be over looked or condoned.  I'm not.  I do believe we should show respect for each other in all stages of our life but sometimes we confuse what is acceptable and what is not when engaging in situations that are totally new to us.    Petty crimes we commit when we are kids are dripped from our criminal records when we turn 18.  No reason to ruin a kids entire life because of an act committed when immature.

    As parents we should do a better job at teaching boundaries and acceptable behavior and as adults we need to be more responsible when reporting crimes.  Report as close to the act as possible.  It doesn't matter if the authorities believe you are not. If every woman reported sexual assaults then when the third woman reports the same man for the same crime, it is more likely that he will be stopped and all vindicated.  Why wait twenty years and then cry rape.  People wonder what's your agenda.

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