Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered how the mistakes you made as a parent affected your child?  I sometimes think that the bad decisions I made as a parent had a bad influence on my child but then again I look at him today and know he is a fine young man and I am amazed he turned out so well in spite of my inexperience as a parent.  Maybe my mistakes made him stronger. 

I feel bad about the times I was angry without reason to be or the times I did things my child didn't understand or that disappointed him.  In some areas I might have pushed him to hard and maybe in orthers I didn't give him enough support.  Sometimes I may have over reacted and others I didn't action with enough passion. 

It's tough being a parent, especially the first time around.  It's one of the nice things about being a parent the second time.  i never had but the one child and he never had children.  But I was a foster parent and I did raise my niece and two nephews for quite a few years.  Those were different kids, different circumstances, and different decisions.  Of course I made mistakes there too.  I don't think it is possible to be a parent and not make mistakes.  I just worry that the mistakes I made had a permanent negative influence on someones life.  Even if they turned out to be good people, I always wondered could they have been better or happier or better able to cope with their problems had I done a better job.

I don't suppose one will ever know what could have been.  To tell the truth I'm not always sure what is.