I'm beginning to understand

  I started attending my previous church when it had just a handful of people.  The first thing I did was ask the preacher if I could mow the grass.  That winter I started coming over to the church on a daily bases working on clearing the land, cleaning the church, doing painting and repair work, and anything else I saw needed to be done.  My work didn't go unnoticed because I was asked to serve as a deacon.
  I later became the regular Sunday School teacher.   The church began to grow, slowly, but then we had a big boast in membership when a man and his family decided to join.  He had been a member of his precious church for 17 years but wasn't happy because they didn't let him do anything.  Besides him and his wife, he had two children,, a brother-in-law and his wife and their three kids.  Our congregation jumped from 25 to 34 and it was obvious we needed a new building but the church could not afford one.
  When I sold my pickup truck, a man gave me an idea about how to get an adequate sized building for almost nothing.  We looked into it and liked what we saw but there was no way the church could afford to purchase the building so I bought it and the church agreed to pay me back,  It was then that I noticed a change in my position at the church.  It seems I was excluded from helping with the setup and preparation of the new building, the fact that I was the one who purchased the building became a well guarded secret, and I started getting pressure to share my teaching duties.
  The new member, the brother-in-law was quickly appointed a deacon and him and the preacher started doing things together without my knowledge or inclusion.  I discovered that the other fellow had taken over my visitation privileges with the preacher and I wasn't even informed when someone was hospitalized.  The preacher soon quit conferring with me and started using all the men members for consultation.
   I was being exclude more and more from activities around the church and was being criticized for the things that I did do.  In fact, I was forbidden from even mowing the lawn.  I wasn't sure what was going on or why.  I had been a loyal supporter of the pastor and the church and did all I could to see that we had a clean building, nice grounds, and a pleasant atmosphere.  It seemed not only to be not appreciated but resented.  After two more years of this it was time for me to move on.
  After searching for awhile I finely found my new church home.  I had not been there long before I became a Sunday School teacher.  I fill in sometimes when the pastor is absent, I do the church sign, and I am the assistant treasurer.  But I still pray for my former church and the pastor and his wife.  I never fully understood what went wrong but as events unfold and time passes I am beginning to understand.
   Part of what went on is the desire to build a church and the desire to make a new member feel welcomed and useful but it is more than that because not all new members were treated as warmly.  A year after these nine people joined another family came and with all their friends there was a total of 17 of them.  One became the Sunday School teacher, another a deacon and a third was put on the board of trustees and this just a month or two after they joined the church.
  But I noticed also that all these people were either looking for something or just following their families leader.  They were seeking to exercise their talents, which is not bad in and of itself, but I believe the purpose of church is a place to give, not get.
   My desire is to serve God and his people in any capacity whether it is changing the church sign, taking the garbage cans to the curb or just stopping by to empty the dehumidifiers.  With motivations in mind, I believe the problem was that my former pastor felt threatened by all that I did, erroneously thinking that I was trying to divide and conquer and take the church away from him.  He all but accused me of that once.  I do admit that he treated half the congregation poorly and they felt that I cared for them.
  But I cared for them all.
  AT my current church I am still involved in many things but I try not to do it all.  I do not take my turn in cleaning the church and I share my teaching duties.  I have started a bible study group outside of the church.  I stay involved but take more of a back seat role that I am used too.  I have found that egos are a fragile thing, even among Christians for they are only human too.
  As for my former church. The brother in law split from his wife and he followed his sister and her husband to a new church.  Of the seventeen that joined only one is left.  I don't know why any of them left but I do believe some left because they perceived the grass was greener elsewhere.
  I get a scent of jealousy from some members of my current church so I tread lightly.  I am not there seeking to satisfy some desire of my own but to serve God but serving the church in what ever capacity I can.