Bring up a child

I was just reading an article on the biggest mistakes that parents make when raising their children and one of them was being to strict  or to religiously strict to be specific.  Often parents will hold up standards to the children and expect them to live up to those standards when the adults themselves cannot. 
  First in doing so, the parents have to believe that religious standards, or codes of conduct, makes one righteous.   First those parents need to understand that Christianity is a relationship and not a moral code, if indeed Christianity is the religion that the writer was referring to.  I'm sure he wouldn't feel so free to criticize the way a Muslim family raised their children. 
  I know the man is right, whatever definition of religion one uses.  I have an acquaintance who is upset that one of his kids has begun using marijuana.  This man is a deacon in his church and one of the pastors hand picked favorite people.  he testifies often about how he came to be saved 22 years ago but admits that for the longest time he was just "Playing church". 
   Rightly or wrongly, I'm not taking sides here, but the pastor has repeatedly asked that no one attend church services or be on church property in shorts.  Yet this man, who mows the lawn, will wear his shorts and also go shirtless.   He has repeatedly promised to quit smoking but he continues to puff away.  His oldest son, who is still in  his thirties still lives with daddy and he smokes  marijuana 
  A father cannot justify his refusal to obey the pastor, his allowing one son to use marijuana while supporting him, and his criticism of another son who is in school and holds a job.   His actions and his words are at odds with each other making him a hypocrite.  Not a religious hypocrite but a parental hypocrite. 
  It isn't always easy for a parent to adhere to the standards we want our children to live up to but I believe the children can understand the occasional lapse in judgement but when the transgression is a lifestyle of contradiction then there is a more serious problem here.